"Why can't I remember my old self in the past?
The past. When was that? The past.
When we met what kind of person was I?
I don't remember how I used to be. When I made a decision about something, I don't remember what's been on my mind. Why can't I remember it? It's scary."
Beberapa hari lalu baru menyelesaikan drama berjudul Be Melodramatic rekomendasi seorang teman. Dan salah satu tokohnya mengutarakan pertanyaan-pertanyaan tersebut pada dirinya sendiri in a retrospective manner. And I wonder..... (when I sing along with youuuuu~) Ngaaa deng wqwq. And I wonder,
25 years and my life is still
Tryin' to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
What kind of person was I? Why can't I remember it? Why can't I?
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Ini bukan usaha pertama saya berusaha menulis kembali di blog ini setelah sekian lama, sebelumnya sudah beberapa kali saya memulai, namun selalu hanya berakhir dalam folder draf. Kemudian ketika saya membuka blog ini lagi dan melihat draf-draf tersebut, ada perasaan asing yang menyeruak ke permukaan. Saya... tidak terlalu ingat mengapa saya menulis draf tersebut. Tidak ingat bagaimana perasaan saya saat menuliskannya. Tidak ingat ada kejadian apa. Tidak ingat apa yang saya pikirkan saat mulai mengetiknya. Saya tidak ingat diri saya.
I don't know whether I'll be able to finish this one too, but let's just try for now. I think that's enough. As for those drafts, I won't let them go in vain so I'll post them right below here. So that when I actually manage to finish writing this very post, fingers crossed, I'll be able to look back and at least try to reminisce. Here goes nothing.
